


unaware

by yellowsenpai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Based on a True Story, Bulimia, Crying, Depression, Eating Disorders, M/M, POV Second Person, Present Tense, Sad Oikawa Tooru, Vomiting, but only for the prologue +chap1
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24809542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowsenpai/pseuds/yellowsenpai
Summary: oikawa tooru wants many things in life. oikawa tooru will get those things. no matter what.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	unaware

**Author's Note:**

> read the tags-

you stare at the ceiling.

not really, since it's 3:40 a.m., and it's pitch black. you think about a lot of things while you are in this state. it is not uncommon.

you think about how fat you are. or were. look how good you have been doing! you lost 30 pounds already! 

you think about how you don't deserve to sleep anymore. it's fine, you've gotten used to it. you haven't gotten used to taking cold showers because you feel asleep in the wee hours or ate your favorite dinner. you don't deserve it.

it isn't just thinking and rules that keep you up at night. the pain from practicing volleyball late at night and all day on an empty stomach is starting to get to you. 

of course it is. you can't do one thing right can you? you're pathetic, really. grinning like an idiot during class and practice and crying anywhere else is quite annoying. maybe it would be better if you died. maybe you should kill yourself right now. you would be put out of your misery, right? 

though in the back of your head, a thought lingers.

what would iwa-chan think? you can't make him upset anymore. you know what happened when he first found out.

how he wanted-no, begged you to get help to call a hotline, to eat and sleep more, to get therapy. how you reassured him that you would be okay, that you were responsible enough to get over it. how you said it was a one time thing.

"it was supposed to be though," you aren't aware which thoughts are coming out vocally anymore.

sometimes you wish to be unaware...

**Author's Note:**

> so I've decided to make this a multi chapter fanfic???  
> wish me luck lol
> 
> don't forget to comment or suggestions or criticism!


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